Flickering Light Switch

The sporadic nature of my blog posts serves as a perfect example of what I’m going to write about in this post. Often, I write that I think of motivation as a flickering light switch. At times, for me, at least, I’m on  the “On” side and I’m going full force at trying to reach my goals. However, it seems the bill is not paid for in full and, as such, my motivation quickly turns “off” after an indefinite amount of time. I’ve started a new running program and only time will tell if I stick with it. I’m trying to improve my run time for the PT test and, in general, improve my cardiovascular fitness. It’s always been an uneasy marriage between lifting and running for me. I love lifting weights as it gives me a shot of endorphins that’s almost unrivaled. However, in order to maximize the PT test, I have to improve my run time as that is my weakest point and the one thing keeping me from a score of 270+. I have never struggled with running like I have in El Paso. I can no longer use the elevation as an excuse as I have almost been here for a year and a half. As such, I’m going to divide the days with interval training and distance runs. I will not lift as much for the next couple of weeks as my main focus is the run. I digressed from the original point but the main focus is trying to keep the light switch, so to speak, on the “on” position. Too often, I get discouraged by certain events or the negativity of others. Other people are not dictionaries, they can’t define you. You have the power to define yourself and other people have to respect that once your goals comes to fruition. Motivation comes from everywhere, it’s just a matter of letting it come to you. I let everyting motivate me when I’m on the correct side of the light switch. People asking me stupid fucking questions about being a vegetarian motivates me. People constantly asking me if I’m a vegan when I’m drinking a glass of milk in front of them motivates me. The fact that I can out-lift and I’m stronger than a lot of people that talk shit motivates me. The fact I’m Indian and in the Infantry motivates me. Sometimes it’s real and sometimes it’s perceived but sources of motivation come from everywhere. I follow the Rock on Instagram and his page is always inspiring. He’s a behemoth of a man and yet, he’s still motivated to go to the gym every day and kill it no matter what his schedule looks like. There’s a guy who can take a break for a while if he wanted to but he’d rather keep going . That is inspiring to say the least. Writing is another example. Sometimes, I’m very motivated to write and update this blog. Other times, I just see it as a futile effort and think nobody gives a fuck about what I think or what I write about. Sometimes, I think I have a future as a writer and other times, I think it’s a hopeless endeavor and I need to stop wasting my time. Point is, it’s an uphill battle no matter which goal you’re referring to. The people that succeed are the ones that stick with it no matter the negativity or the doubts of others. More importantly, they stick with it no matter their own doubts and reservations. Nobody in this world can put the work in for you. At this moment, I’m feeling motivated and I’m feeling good because I just ran about an hour ago. However, as the endorphins wear off and the euphoria subsides, only time will tell if I’ll continue to make progress.

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